When I wake up in the morning the first thing that comes to my mind isn’t coffee. When thousands of teenagers wake up it’s a ‘spliff’. Take Monday for example. Its 9am and I’m up and ready for college. There’s a cannabis joint left over from the night before. I’m not in a bad mood, but then again I’m not in a particularly good one either. It was probably all that smoking last night that caused it. What the hell, I was happy weren’t I?
Now I’ve got a decision to make. Should I smoke it now? What about later? I can’t get any more money, I should definitely save it. Oh what the hell its Monday, I need a break. A little bit like the one I had at the weekend. Roll it up and let’s go I can smoke it on the way to college. Half way there I’m feeling good, a little under confident, but good. I know it’s probably not the best time to think about it... But all I want to do is go home and get blazed. Pfft fat chance. I’ve got some work to do.
Long day at college, can’t say it was particularly fun. But now what? I’m home, bored. What can I do I think to myself? You guessed it; it’s time to fire one up. Damn, I’m out of grade. It’s going to be another one of them days. It doesn’t take much to start me off nor does it take much to make it worse. But I am getting angry. I can’t make out if its anger or frustration. I’m frustrated that I have no weed and I’m even angrier I can’t afford to get any.
Now we’ve got a dilemma. Where am I going to get some money? I already owe all of my friends and can’t afford to tick anymore. Aaa… ‘Ticking’, that’s another subject for later. It’s like a tab, for weed. You take it and pay later, sort of like them catalogue offers you see on the television, buy now, pay next week. Pretty similar except from one major difference, you won’t be going to court if you can’t afford to pay this one, think closer along the lines of hospital.
Anyway this dilemma still needs solving. I head to my girlfriends house, perhaps she will have money. It’s only when I get there I realise she hasn’t. I don’t know why I expected she would have; maybe it was more hope than anything. There’s nothing like withdrawal to put you in a bad mood and that’s what I’m in now. The burning sensation from the gut, that’s how I know I’m about to lose it. My temper I mean. It’s probably the same for 99% of cannabis smokers. I need help; I sit and think to myself. It’s no use, it isn’t help I want, its weed and that’s what I’m going to have, one way or another.
It’s a sad situation I’m afraid. Not just for me but for thousands of other teenagers like me. I mean I don’t mean to stereotype but we all know the effects of cannabis. What about the atmosphere surrounding the drug? What do I mean? Well you can’t buy it from a shop, so where do you get it from, more importantly who do you get it from. Surely ending up with a cheap substitute of the drug is far worse than the actual drug itself.
Let’s take a typical day. I’ve finished college and head over to my mates flat. I won’t reveal his name for obvious reasons. On this occasion I have managed to acquire the small £10 to buy a couple of joints. From my Nan probably, bless her. I pull up outside and head to the main door of the flats, I can smell the pungent smell of cannabis from outside, don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining, if you ask me I think it smells natural. Anyway I make it inside. If I haven’t mentioned it by now I’m feeling happier by the minute. I can’t explain why, it’s a funny thing is the mind; the smallest things can make such an impact. The thought of relaxation and happiness in the palm of my very own hand just makes me want to smile.
What about the act itself? What can I say? It’s a great feeling. A feeling of excitement yet nervousness, I guess that’s where the paranoia comes in. The reason I smoke comes down to stress. No matter how angry I get I know when I’m sitting in my bedroom, smoking weed and playing games, there nowhere else I’d rather be. It’s an escape from reality. An illusion that makes things seems ok. After all, that is what we all want isn’t it? Everything to be ok. I often sit and wonder what my life would be like if I was weed free, it doesn’t really bare thinking about, let’s just say it would be like losing a friend, a good one at that.
Where was I? Oh yeah, firing one up with my mates. What can I say about my mates? Well let’s take my dealer for example; he’s just the same as me if not worse. The burning desire to smoke cannabis has also affected his cagey existence. The average day consists of buying, selling and smoking dope. He’s younger than me, only an 18 year old lad. Did I mention his 1 year old daughter? She lives with her mother of course; I mean how can you juggle being a dealer while trying to be a father? Maybe he just doesn’t want to.
That brings me on to ambition, or rather lack of it. We all know cannabis makes you lazy and tired, I mean that’s the idea of relaxation. However smoking weed crushes your sense of ambition and leaves you with a complete lack of motivation often resulting in foul moods and a general idea that you’re going nowhere in life. That’s not healthy is it? No it isn’t. On the other end of the spectrum it has been proved by scientists, even though cannabis affects your short term memory, it increases your brain activity, therefore resulting in better ideas and what I like to call “out of the box” thinking.
It's a working progress, please leave comments, appreciate them very much.
.
