This is part of the script i'm working on. it's about two very different men sharing a flat. Jimmy Shoe loves sc fi, and Jed Exodus plays drums in a thrash metal band.
FADE IN
PRE TITLE SEQUENCE . A CASH MACHINE IN A HIGH STREET. EXT.DAY
WE SEE JIMMY APPROACH. HE HAS A FLAT PARCEL IN BROWN PAPER UNDR#ER HIS ARM. HE STOPS BY THE MACHINE AND INSERTS HIS CARD AND KEYS IN HIS 4 DIGIT NUMBER. HE PRESSES SEVERAL KEYS. THE SCREEN READS ‘INSOFICIANT FUNDS’.
JIMMY:
Bollocks. Damn you e bay with you’re tempting wares. Damn your Signed Leonard Nimoy single and handkerchief with Alison Hannigans’s sweat on it. All those years of taunts in school were right, you are a looser Jimmy Shoe!
HE PULLS OUT HIS CARD, TURNS AND HEADS DOWN THE STREET AWAY FROM CAMERA VIEW. AS HE WALKS HE TRIPS ON SOMETHING AND STUMBLES. HE LOOKS DOWN BUT NOTHING IS THERE. HE LOOKS AROUND TO CHECK THAT NOBODY SAW, THEN DOES A JOHN TRAVOLTA, SATURDAY NIGHT FEEVER TYPE SWAGGER AS HE WALKS. HE STEPS INTO THE ROAD TO CROSS AND IS ALMOST HIT BY A CYCLIST. THE CYCLIST GESTURES AT HIM AS HE SWERVES TO MISS HIM. JIMMY CONTINUES ON HIS WAY. A SMALL DOG ON A LEAD YAPS AT JIMMY’S FEET. JIMMY CROUCHES TO PAT IT AND IT CURLS IT’S LIP AND SNARLS. HE GOES ON HIS WAY. HE PASSES A GANG OF SCHOOL KIDS WHO ARE SMOKING. WE SEE HIM APPROACH THEM, WE CAN SEE HE IS ‘REPRIMANDING THEM’ . THEY ALL TURN TO FACE HIM, HE SMILES NERVOUSLY AND TURNS TO RUN. WE SEE HIM COME RUNNING AROUND A CORNER WITH THE GANG CLOSE BEHIND. JIMMY HIDES BEHIND TWO OLD WOMEN IN A BUS SHELTER. THEY WAVE THEIR WALKING STICKS AT THE GANG AND THEY RUN AWAY.
CUT TO
THE BUS. DAY
WEE SEE JIMMY SITTTING ON THE BACK SEAT OF THE BUS. THE TWO ELDERLY WOMEN ON EITHER SIDE OF HIM. THROUGH THE WINDOW WE SEE THE GANG. JIMMY STICKS OUT HIS TONGUE AT THEM AS THE BUS PULLS AWAY.
OPENING TITLES
FADE IN
SC.1. A SUBURBAN SEMI . EXT. DAY
CUT TO
SC.2. THE LIVING ROOM . INT. DAY.
JED EXODUS SITS READING A MAGAZINE. ON THE WALL THERE ARE POSTERS DEPICTING VARIOUS SCI FI CHARACTERS. A SHELF CONTAINS SCI FI DVD’S.
JED:
How sad would you need to be to put an add in a lonely hearts? (he reads) Blonde girl, GSOH….what the hell is GSOH? (he thinks) Great Set Of Hooters. (he holds his hands in front of his chest to suggest large breasts) Sounds like my type of girl, and I could never deny anybody a piece of the Jedser. It’s something all women should experience, one of the 7 wonders of he world along side The hanging towers of Babylis and the leaning Gardens of pizza hut. (Sighs) I’m talking to my self again, I’m spending too much time with Jimmy.
AS IF ON CUE JIMMY ENTERS LOOKING FLUSTERED. HE SLIPS OFF HIS COAT AND WE SEE HIS T SHIRT HAS THE SLOGAN, ‘I’VE BEEN TO GALIFRAY.’ JED LOOKS UP FROM HIS PAPER.
JED:
What’s up Dude?
JIMMY:
The bank has charged me for going overdrawn again.
JED:
(Sarcastically) Over zealous bastards.
JIMMY TAKES OUT A BANK STATEMENT. HE SCREWS UP AND TOSSES IT TOWARDS A WASTE BIN. IT MISSES.
JED:
You can’t just chuck it away jimmy. What about your bank details? What if someone steals your identity?
JIMMY:
Steal my identity? My life is so shit even I don’t want it.
JED:
Have you reported you‘re stolen credit card yet?
JIMMY:
I decided not to bother. Whoever stole it spends less than me. (Sighs) what did I ever do to deserve my life?
JED:
I hope you don’t plan to do the old ‘ Humbug’ thing again Jimmy. It isn’t even Christmas.
JIMMY:
Why not? I think I’ve got my ‘Humbug’to perfection.
HE MIMICKS ‘SCROOGE’
JIMMY:
Christmas, bah humbug. Back to work. Bah. Humbug. Scrooge is my all time favorite super hero; forget Banana man, Michelin man and Manfred man. Anyone who can be that malicious without even making an effort is tops with me. (Sighs) I always loathed Christmas you know, even as a kid. I just don’t get it. What is the connection with Christmas and sprouts anyway? That’s the only time anybody eats the evil little green noxious bastards. And a tree with tinsel and crappy plastic balls on it. What has all that got to do with the birth of Judas priest?
JED:
Jesus Christ Jimmy.
JIMMY:
What? What have I done now?
JED:
The birth of Jesus. Judas Priest is that actor, the one that was in that film about a sky Captain, and it was in the world of tomorrow. I don’t know the name of the film… Anyway, you must have liked Christmas as a kid Jim. All kids like Christmas. Your parents must have bought you presents.
JIMMY:
Oh Yes. I’ll tell you about my presents shall I? One year I recall, I woke Christmas morning and there at the foot of my bed was a stocking, well, I call it a stocking, but lets call a spade a spade shall we, it was one of my Grandmas surgical stockings, they didn’t even wash it first and she had athletes foot. In the bottom of said stocking was one parcel, so I rip it open, and I’m hoping to find the Luke Skywalker action figure that I’d been asking for since, well, since forever really.. Do you know what I found when I ripped it open? I’ll tell you shall I? A Blow up doll, a sex doll, like the ones that sad pervy old men use when they can’t get a woman, ’Rubber Roz’. What sort of present is that for a twelve year old? Then you wonder why I’m so messed up.
JED:
God I would have loved for my parents to buy me a sex doll when I was twelve. I asked my parents for a sex doll and they refused point blank. The closest I ever came was sticking a picture of Debbie Gibson’s face onto a pillow and a hole in my mattress just wide enough to fit a smarty tube in. only problem was you had to wait for things to deflate before you could get out of it, and it could get kinda messy. (He looks sheepish) that goes no further than this room. Have you still got the doll? Those things cost a fortune (pause) I imagine.
JIMMY:
No I don’t still have it. She was a tart, cheated on me with Raymond Walloon.
JED:
Who the Hell is Raymond Walloon?
JIMMY:
He was my imaginary friend. He was cool, pull girls like that. (Snaps fingers). Bastard stole all my girlfriends.
JED:
He was your imaginary friend. Why did you not imagine him less cool?
JIMMY:
What and have people think my best mate was a geek? No way, having a cool mate was good for my street cred.
JED:
So what happened to Rozz?
JIMMY:
I killed the bitch. Killed her stone dead.
JIMMY MIMICS PUNHING SOMEBODY
JIMMY:
I buried her in a shallow grave; I would have gotten away with it too if not for being reported by those pesky kids.
JED:
You were a pesky kid
JIMMY:
I was never pesky. Irksome, wearisome perhaps, but I was never pesky.
JED TRIES TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD
JED:
You always accept presents from people at Christmas.
JIMMY:
Presents? What, hand knitted jumpers and cheap aftershave.
JED:
I got you a book last year.
JIMMY:
‘Develop you’re prospects in life.’ That wasn’t a present, it was a hint.
JED:
And I got you that DVD.
JIMMY:
Again, ‘Be a better human being- twenty ways to grow in maturity.’
JED:
What’s the parcel?
JIMMY:
Nothing.
JED:
I thought you were skint. What have you been buying now?
JIMMY:
Nothing.
JED:
You haven’t been to the bloody sci-fi store again have you? Not more Doctor who stuff?
JIMMY:
It’s not Doctor who stuff.
JED:
Show me then.
JIMMY:
No
JED:
Oh come on. Lets see.
JIMMY:
No
JIMMY HOLDS THE PARCEL BEHIND HIS BACK. JED GETS UP AND WRESTLES IT FROM HIM. HE RIPS THE PACKAGE OPEN AND PULLS OUT A MIRROR IN THE SHAPE OF THE TARDIS. JED CHUCKLES. JIMMY SNATCHES THE MIRROR BACK, IT SLIPS OUT OF HIS HAND, HITS THE COFFEE TABLE AND SMASHES.
JIMMY:
Look what you’ve gone and done now. That’s seven years bad luck that is. Do I look like the sort of man who can afford seven years bad luck? Why would you grab at my arm like that, if you want to grab at people at least give them some warning first.
JED:
Sorry Dude. Oh, and before I forget. , get your glad rags out of deep freeze, there’s partying afoot. Biff Bash is coming home.
JIMMY:
And so it begins, seven years bad luck, though, Biff may kill me and save me all the suffering. No, I can’t be that lucky.
JED:
Last I heard Biff was living in Barbados, all the top stars are his friends.
JIMMY:
Oh yea, Chuck Norris, Jean Claude Van Damn, Steven Segal, Brigit Nielson, Chico, the cream of Hollywood.
JED:
Why are you so worried anyway about Biff coming home anyway?
JIMMY:
You know why. That incident with the porch.
JED:
Oh I forgot about that. How could you have been so stupid? All you had to do was paint his porch. How difficult could that be? Even for you.
JIMMY:
I swear he asked me to paint his Porsche.
JED:
But it wasn’t even a Porsche Jim, it was a Ferrari. A classic, only three in the world. I wouldn’t worry though, It’ll be water under the bridge. Biff won’t have held a grudge all this time.
JIMMY:
You want to bet? You know he did that song, ’Wooden casket’, well you know the line, ‘The next time I see your face you’ll be in a wooden casket, and that’s a date.’ If you read the footnote on the record sleeve you’ll see it’s dedicated to me as was the song, ’Jimmy Shoe I’m going to kill you’,
kendersrule
Pro 
OMFG! really really likeee! would def watch!