The author would like to ask the reader to forgive the vulgarity in the following piece (it is absolutely nessesary, in this case) and would also like to note that he has nothing against any race, religion or creed and hopes that the reader understands the piece is an observation on the underlying, yet often denied and/or ignored, racial tension in this country (US) and the political correctness that at times can be just plain silly.

Free Speech

By Rob Hames

When the unexpected occurs in the local library, a young woman is tutored on tolerance.

Cast

Jane

Abaza

Shirley

FADE IN

INT. LIBRARY – DAY

A young white woman, JANE, sits near the end of a library table, studying.

At the head of the other end of the table is ABAZA, a mid 30’s male, dark in complexion. He is reading.

The librarian, SHIRLEY, a black woman, works behind the information desk.

ABAZA
(Shouting)
Mather-facker, sheet, damnit!

SHIRLEY
SHHH!

Jane jolts to attention, wide eyed, looks at Abaza, who has gone back to reading his book. Jane, still incredulous, looks at Shirley, who has gone back to working.

Jane looks again at Abaza for a few seconds; he looks back at her, smiles and continues reading. Jane, confused, goes back to her studying.

A few minutes later…

ABAZA
(Shouting)
Facker facker fucker, cock sacker,
damnit!

SHIRLEY
SHHH!

Again, Jane jolts upright, stares at Abaza wide-eyed. He is reading as if nothing has happened. Jane again looks at the librarian, who is head-down, back at work.

Jane stands up, walks to the information desk.

JANE
(Clears her
throat)
Excuse me.

Shirley looks up.

SHIRLEY
Yes, honey?

JANE
Am I being punked or something?

SHIRLEY
Are you being what’ed?

JANE
You know, punked. Like on that show
with the guy from the 70’s show.

SHIRLEY
Oh you mean, with that cute white boy
who’s married to that old lady?

JANE
Yes.

SHIRLEY
Why, are you famous, some sort of
celebrity? Cuz he only punks famous
people, right?

JANE
Yeah, I guess so, but --

SHIRLEY
No honey, you ain’t being punked. Why
you asking a crazy question like that?

JANE
I, um, well, you obviously heard that
young man yelling obscenities and all
you did was shush him.

SHIRLEY
Oh baby, that’s just Abaza, he’s harm-
less. He’s got V.T.S., see?

JANE
V.T.S.?

SHIRLEY
Yeah, V.T.S. Voluntary Tourette’s Syndrome.

Jane silently mouths the words, “Voluntary Tourette’s Syndrome” to herself. Then questioningly mouths the word “voluntary?”
JANE
Well, can’t you do something about --

ABAZA
(Shouting)
Sheet, fack, fack, fack!

SHIRLEY
SHHH!

JANE
Why are you merely shushing him, can’t you --

SHIRLEY
Baby doll, that’s what you’re supposed
to do with someone afflicted with VTS.
See, we had a Tourettes Syndrome awareness workshop last week, learned all about T.S. and what we should and shouldn’t do when we encounter a sufferer. I’m supposed to shush him. I could be part of the cure, you know? Now if he had I.T.S., it’d be illegal to shush him.

JANE
I.T.S.?

SHIRLEY
Involuntary Tourette’s Syndrome.

JANE
Oh. I see. But can’t you put him in
a separate room or something?

SHIRLEY
Oh, that’s real nice, honey! And I
suppose you would’ve had Rosa Parks
stay at the back of the bus? He has
rights, you know!

JANE
No, no! I have nothing against Rosa…
or… It’s just, don’t I have a right
to study in a public library without
hearing “fack fack fack” shouted at the
top of someone’s lungs?

ABAZA
(Shouting)
Fack!

SHIRLEY
SHHHH! Now honey, you do have rights
but they’re superseded by his first
amendment right’s to free speech. Maybe
you’ve got a problem with him because
he’s Asian?

JANE
No, no! Not at all!

Jane looks back at Abaza.

JANE
But he doesn’t look Asian.

SHIRLEY
Oh, he doesn’t look Asian enough for
you? And do I look black enough to
be black to you?

JANE
No! I mean, yes! I mean, it’s just,
you said he was Asian and he doesn’t look --

SHIRLEY
Yeah, I get it, he doesn’t look like
your preconceived, stereotyped version
of an Asian man, right? You want him to have slanted eyes and walk around saying things like “herro, I rike you rery much” and bow all the time, is that it? Well, he’s Turkish, OK? You got a problem with that?

JANE
No, no, you’re getting me all wrong,
all I was saying is… Wait, isn’t Turkey
in Europe?

SHIRLEY
You say tomata, I say… Anyway most of it
is in Asia.

JANE
It’s split? I never knew --

SHIRLEY
Honey, I got work to do, is there
anything else I can help you with?

ABAZA
(Shouting)
Mather facker, god-damp it!

SHIRLEY
SHHH!

They both look back at Abaza; he smiles at them meekly and goes back to his book. Jane turns back to Shirley.

JANE
God damp it?

SHIRLEY
It’s his second language, girlfriend.
How’s your Turkish.

JANE
Oh, yeah, I’m sorry. Why doesn’t he
curse in Turkish then?

SHIRLEY
Cuz he’s assimilating, honey! Can I
help you with anything else?

JANE
No. I’m OK. Thank you for your time.

Jane goes back to the table, glances quickly at Abaza, starts to pack her things, preparing to leave.

ABAZA
(Shouting)
Mather facking stupid American white
girl. Fack.

JANE
(Shouting)
Oh, Shut the fack up!

Shirley and Abaza, both wide eyed and incredulous, look at Jane.

Jane looks at them both, shrugs and starts walking out.

JANE
V.T.S - contagious, I guess.

FADE OUT